Episode: Save the Drama for Your Llama
INT. WALTER’S ROOM - DAY
WALTER, A CUTE FRIENDLY ALLIGATOR, TALKS DIRECTLY TO THE CAMERA WITH A SET UP THAT IS SIMILAR TO A YOUTUBER. BEHIND HIM ARE SHELVES DISPLAYING ALL HIS LOCH NESS MONSTER
MEMORABILIA. IT’S CLEAR HE’S A BIG FAN AND IS OBSESSED WITH NESSIE. THERE ARE FIGURINES AND DOLLS AND MAPS. HE SEEMS TO HAVE EVERY PIECE OF MEMORABILIA THERE IS.
WALTER
Hey guys! Welcome to my new show
“Walter’s Biggest Fan Show”. I’m such
a huge fan, some people say I’m
obsessed (he looks around his room a
little embarrassed) with Nessie, or as
she’s more commonly known, the Loch
Ness Monster. So I decided it was time
to investigate the crazy world of
fandom and what it means to be a fan.
Here I am bringing all the fandoms of
the world to you!
BEGIN TITLE MONTAGE
THE THEME SONG PLAYS. WE SEE WALTER AND HIS FRIENDS - DOLLY THE FLAMINGO, MANNY THE MANATEE, HARRY THE HERON, AND MS. JACKSON THE PANTHER PLAYING AND TALKING ABOUT THE LOCK NESS MONSTER.
QUICK CUTS TO HIGHLIGHTS OF VARIOUS EPISODES:
---MANNY GETTING CHASED BY A LLAMA
---WALTER OUT ON A TRACK TRYING TO RUN WITH MARATHONERS
---THE WHOLE GANG ON A ROLLERCOASTERS
---MS. JACKSON SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE DRESSED LIKE ELVES
---HARRY JAMMING IN A DRUM CIRCLE
---WALTER LEARNING KPOP DANCE MOVES AND GETTING HIS FEET TANGLED
---MANNY FREAKING OUT AT A INSECT FAN CONVENTION
---THE WHOLE GANG IN THE SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS SEARCHING FOR NESSIE
---WALTER BACK AT HIS DESK IN HIS ROOM IN FRONT OF HIS NESSIE BOOKCASE
END TITLE MONTAGE
INT. WALTER’S ROOM - DAY
WALTER CHECKS HIS EMAIL TO SEE WHERE HE’S HEADED THIS EPISODE.
WALTER
Let’s see... oh I’m going to Yarn-athon
in Kalamazoo, MI. Wow they even
sent me this knit sweater.
WALTER PULLS A BRIGHT PURPLE MOHAIR SWEATER FROM OFF SCREEN, SEEMINGLY OUT OF THE COMPUTER AND PUTS IT ON OVER HIS GREY NESSIE T-SHIRT.
WALTER (CONT'D)
I’m off!
INT. KALAMAZOO AIRPORT - DAY
WALTER ARRIVES AND THE AIRPORT HAS HUGE BANNERS WELCOMING YARN-A-THON PARTICIPANTS. THE BAGGAGE CLAIM IS CROWDED WITH PEOPLE COLLECTING THEIR BAGS OF YARN SUPPLIES.
WALTER
Wow, this sure looks like an exciting
place. Who knew so many people loved
yarn?! This is going to be a great
adventure.
INT. HOTEL ROOM - AFTERNOON
WALTER HAS ARRIVED IN HIS HOTEL ROOM AND HAS SET UP HIS CAMERA FOR A VLOG ENTRY.
WALTER
Hey again. So I’m here in Kalamazoo
and they weren’t kidding about like
yarn here. I got this cool welcome bag
that tells me all about the Yarn-athon.
It’s going to be great. They
have this cool soap that’s special for
wool. I also got this water bottle
with these yarn balls on them. And a
few of these, um, I think they’re
hooks and needles for yarn, yeah. And
this guide. Did you know that the
largest yarn ball in the world is 3.7
meters high? Yeah, and there are
dozens varieties of yarn being
showcased this weekend. I can’t wait
to get up and get started. It looks
like the party starts at 7am eek. I
better get some rest.
INT. YARN-A-THON LOBBY - DAY
THERE’S A LARGE BALL OF YARN AND BANNER THAT SAYS YARN-A-THON AS PEOPLE BEGIN TO ENTER THE CONVENTION CENTER. WALTER DOES A STAND UP SHOT INTRODUCING THE EXPO.
WALTER
We’re here at the Yarn-a-thon entrance
and it looks like everyone is excited
for a day of yarn. Let’s go in.
WALTER WALKS TOWARDS THE ENTRANCE AND SEES THE GIANT CONVENTION CENTER SEEING PEOPLE EVERYWHERE CLEARLY PASSIONATE ABOUT YARN. HE WALKS UP TO A VENDOR SELLING HAND SPUN AND DYED YARN.
INT. FOR EWE AND ME BOOTH - DAY
WE SEE SUZETTE, A SWEET LOOKING WOMAN WITH A SCOTTISH ACCENT. SHE’S CLEARLY NERVOUS AND HASN’T BEEN ON CAMERA VERY MUCH.
WALTER
I’m here with the proprietor of this
booth - “For Ewe and Me”, Suzette. Hi
Suzette.
SUZETTE
Thanks for visiting Walter. I hear
you’re here looking for the biggest
fans. You’ll certainly find some yarnnuts
here.
WALTER
Great. Can you tell everybody about
what you do?
SUZETTE
Sure. We live on a farm in Scotland
where we raise sheep. After we shear
the sheep we spin the fibers into
yarn, and then dye it. My partner and
I get to travel the world bring the
yarn we make to Ewe. Get it?
WALTER
That’s punny, that’s punny. Okay. So
you’re dedicated to your craft from
start to finish. How long have you
been a fan of yarn?
SUZETTE
I came to it a little late. It wasn’t
until university that I learned how to
knit from a roommate. I went on a
study abroad program to South America
and learned so much, I was hooked. Get
it? Hooked! (she holds up a crochet
hook).
SUZETTE AWKWARDLY STARES DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA SMILING.
WALTER
Okay. Well thanks for sharing your
booth with us Suzette. Let’s see what
the rest of Yarn-a-thon has to offer.
SUZETTE IS STILL AKWARDLY STARING AT THE CAMERA.
INT. YARN-A-THON CONVENTION FLOOR - DAY
WALTER WALKS AROUND THE BOOTHS OF YARN-A-THON. WE SEE B-ROLL OF WALTER BEING SILLY AROUND THE CONVENTION. PEOPLE ARE KNITTING AND SHOPPING AND HAVING TONS OF FUN.
INT. HAROLD’S HISTORY BOOTH - DAY
HAROLD’S BOOTH STANDS OUT BECAUSE IT DOESN’T HAVE ANY YARN, JUST BOOKS. HAROLD SEEMS LIKE THE KIND OF PERSON WHO SPENDS MORE TIME READING BOOKS THAN TALKING TO OTHER PEOPLE. HE’S VERY SERIOUS ABOUT HIS STUDIES OF YARN HISTORY.
WALTER
We’re now here at Harold’s booth.
Harold is a yarn historian. Hi Harold!
HAROLD
Hi Walter. Yarn and yarn crafts have a
lot of history. Did you know there are
lots of superstitions in the yarn
community? Have you heard of the curse
of the boyfriend sweater?
WALTER
No, what’s the (he says with turning
to the camera with spooky fingers and
voice) curse of the boyfriend sweater?
HAROLD
I’m glad you asked. The curse of the
boyfriend sweater is that as soon as
you knit your significant other a
sweater they breaks up with you.
WALTER
Oh I thought it’d be a spookier curse.
HAROLD
Well spend hours knitting someone a
sweater and you’ll think it’s pretty
spooky.
WALTER
Yeah, I guess so. Sheesh.
INT. YARN-A-THON CONVENTION FLOOR - DAY
WALTER WALKS AROUND TO EXPLORE MORE BOOTHS. WE SEE THE FOOD COURT FULL OF PEOPLE TALKING AND EATING AND CROWDS OF PEOPLE HAVING FUN IN THEIR FANDOM.
INT. WOOLY WONDERS BOOTH - DAY
DOLLY THE FLAMINGO AND MANNY THE MANATEE SHOW UP AT THE NEXT BOOTH WITH A LLAMA. DOLLY IS A VERY GROOVY SEEMING FLAMINGO. SHE SEEMS A LITTLE FLIGHTY BUT IS ALWAYS HAVING FUN. MANNY THE MANATEE IS A LARGE DOOFUS WHO FOLLOWS DOLLY AROUND. FREDRICK THE LLAMA IS AN ACTUAL NON-TALKING LLAMA UNLIKE OUR ANTHROPOMORPHIC FRIENDS WALTER, DOLLY AND MANNY. IT’S HARD TO TELL IF MANNY HAS THE LLAMA ON THE LEASH OR VIS VERSA.
WALTER
Hey, guys! I didn’t know you loved
yarn.
DOLLY
Oh for sure. I have crocheted all my
life man. It’s how I keep my fashion
so groovy. It’s the way yarn wants to
be, like self expression, you know?!
MANNY
Manny like yarn.
WALTER
That’s great guys! What’s with the
llama?
DOLLY
That’s Fredrick. He wanted to like see
the sweaters that are featured. He
made them.
WALTER
I didn’t know llamas could knit.
DOLLY
No, silly, he made the yarn. He’s a
spinner, a yarn spinner.
WALTER
Oh, well good luck guys. (turns to
camera) We’re headed to the main event
to meet up with our experts so we can
find out who is the biggest fan. Come
on let’s go to the main stage.
INT. YARN-A-THON CONVENTION FLOOR - DAY
WE SEE B-ROLL OF THE YARN-A-THON WITH BOOTHS SELLING YARN, PEOPLE ARE KNITTING AND CROCHETING, AND MANNY AND THE LLAMA ARE MAKING A MESS OF THINGS WHILE DOLLY TALKS TO PEOPLE AT A BOOTH.
INT. MAIN STAGE - DAY
WALTER IS ON-STAGE TO INTRODUCE THE MAIN SHOW.
WALTER
I’m excited to be here today. We’re
recording for my show where I search
for the world’s biggest fans. I’m
about to bring on stage two of the
biggest fans in the yarn universe and
we’ll see who gets crowned the biggest
fan. Welcome to the Walter’s Biggest
Fan Show here at the 2020 Yarn-a-thon!
THE CROWD APPLAUDS. WALTER PULLS OUT GAME SHOW STYLE INDEX CARDS TO ANNOUNCE THE CONTESTANTS.
WALTER (CONT'D)
First to the stage is Alex and he has
been crocheting since he was 8-yearsold,
wow. He crochet specialties are
Amagurimi - uh he’ll have to explain
what that is when he comes out -
teaching others, and making hats to
donate to charity. Sounds pretty cool
right?! Let’s welcome Alex to the
stage.
THE CROWD APPLAUDS AND ALEX WALKS ONTO THE STAGE AND SITS DOWN ON A DIRECTORS CHAIR AND BEGINS TO CROCHET WITHOUT LOOKING.
WALTER (CONT'D)
That’s great. Next we have Elise.
Elise is a knitter who focuses her
work on sustainability making clothes
to fight fast fashion with various
recycled yarns. Oh cool! Let’s welcome
Elise to the stage.
THE CROWD APPLAUDS AND ELISE WALKS ONTO THE STAGE AND SITS NEXT TO ALEX AND BEGINS TO KNIT, ALSO WITHOUT LOOKING. WALTER JOINS THEM AND STARTS TO BEGIN THE INTERVIEW.
WALTER (CONT'D)
Wow you guys are just jumping right
in. Don’t you need to look at what
you’re doing?
ELISE
It becomes like second nature. You can
feel the yarn and when the pattern
isn’t too complicated it just flows.
ALEX
I’ve done enough loops that I can hook
in my sleep. Err, maybe that didn’t
come out right.
WALTER
First, I have to know, Alex what is
Amigurumi?
ALEX
Well Walter that’s a great question.
Amigurumi is a Japanese word and it
refers to the art of making little
stuffed creatures. It focuses on
making really cute things like
(holds up Amigurumi several
creatures)
Octopi, koala bears, little
astronauts, here’s a gnome.
WALTER
Wow, those are teeny and adorable. It
must be hard to make them that small.
ALEX
It just takes practice and a love for
yarn. I think that dedication makes me
yarn’s biggest fan. The hours I put
in.
ELISE
Being a fan isn’t just about hours
spent. That would make someone working
at a grocery store check out a barcode
super fan. It doesn’t really work that
way.
ALEX
Whatever.
WALTER
Okay. That’s enough guys, I’m the
biggest fan expert here, we’ll get
this figured out. Elise tell me about
what you like to make?
ELISE
Thanks Walter. I really like to focus
on knitting garments. There’s so much
focus on fast fashion nowadays and I
really like spending time making
quality clothing that will last.
There’s really nothing better than
getting a compliment on something you
made. It’s taking expressing yourself
in fashion to the next level. You can
customize your clothes to fit your
body and your vibe.
WALTER
That’s really interesting. I like to
dress up and I share my fandom on my
sleeve, I mean my wrist, with this
Nessie watch. It’s true that our
clothes can really celebrate our
fandom.
ELISE
Yeah, I think the yarn really wants to
be useful as well as fun.
WALTER
You kind of sound like my friend
Dolly. She talks to yarn too.
ELISE
Cool!
WALTER
Alex you said you crochet a lot for
charity, can you tell me what are your
favorite things to make to donate?
ALEX
I do. My favorite things are hats and
these things called stump sleeves.
WALTER
Stump sleeves?
ALEX
Yeah, they’re these sleeves that go
around amputated limbs. They’re kind
of like big hats. My group and I give
them to veteran’s hospitals.
WALTER
Oh cool. Giving back to the world is a
great way to share your fandom. It’s
something that I find a lot, making
that passion make a difference to
those around you. That’s great.
Elise you also teach knitting and go
to expos like this around the world to
share your art, tell us more about
that.
ELISE
Sure Walter. You’re right on, my job
is to travel around and help people
everywhere learn how to make their own
wardrobe. It’s so inspiring to see
people, who maybe can’t afford
designer clothes but can make
something of equal or better quality
designed for their body. It’s really
exciting to see. Knitting has also
been known to relieve stress and lower
blood pressure.
WALTER
That’s so cool! It sounds like you
both really love yarn and have made it
your life. Dedicated fans for sure.
Now let’s take some questions from the
audience. Anybody out there have
questions for Alex and Elise?
WE SCAN OVER THE AUDIENCE AND SEE PEOPLE LOOKING UP FROM THE YARN IN THEIR LAPS, EVERYONE IS KNITTING OR CROCHETING DURING THE TALK. AS A COUPLE OF PEOPLE START TO GET UP THEIR PROJECTS GET TANGLED AND THERE’S A KURFUFFLE.
WALTER (CONT'D)
Woah, be careful out there.
AN AUDIENCE MEMBER MAKES THEIR WAY TO THE MIC STAND. THEY ARE NOW WEARING A TANGLE OF YARN AND HALF FINISHED PROJECTS.
AUDIENCE MEMBER 1
Do either of you keep track of how
much yarn you’ve used over the years?
WALTER
What a great question! Do you keep
track of what you make? You’re both
pretty fast.
ELISE
Well each sweater is about 1500 yards
of yarn. So I’d guesstimate about
3,978,000 yards. That’s of course just
a safe estimate.
ALEX
I started keeping track for awhile but
it’s just too much. I’d say I go
through about 24 balls of yarn a week
that’d be about 18,720 balls of yarn
so far.
WALTER
Oh my goodness, that’s a lot of yarn.
Let’s check the audience to see if we
have another question.
AUDIENCE MEMBER 2
I can’t believe I’m talking to you
both Alex and Elise. I’m your biggest
fan. That’s a little ironic I guess.
So my question is, what do your
friends and family think of your yarn
obsession? Are they makers or do they
ask you to make them things all the
time?
WALTER
That’s a really good question. I feel
like the Ms. Jackson would always be
demanding new outfits if I could knit
or crochet.
MS. JACKSON IS A PANTHER FRIEND INTRODUCED IN OTHER EPISODES. SHE’S A BIT OF A FASHIONISTA.
ELISE
Well, I clothe my family so they don’t
know anything different. A lot of my
friends knit too. A spend a lot of
time knitting and talking with my
girlfriends. It’s a really fun thing
to share and when it’s such an
important part of your life it kind of
gets tangled in everything. Pun
intended.
ALEX
A few of my friends crochet and they
are always asking me to make them
things but I end up donating so many
items that admittedly my friends kind
of get the short end of the stick. I
often start something with a friend in
mind but come across a great charity
and have to give it away. My best
friend is still waiting for their
scarf that I promised probably a
decade ago. I told them I’d teach them
but they just are too busy.
WALTER
That’s funny. Okay, time for one last
question. Is that you Dolly?
DOLLY WALKS UP TO THE MIC IN THE AUDIENCE. SHE IS MYSTERIOUSLY WITHOUT MANNY OR THE LLAMA AND BEGINS TO ASK HER QUESTION.
DOLLY
So like how do you know if they yarn
wants to be a scarf or hat or blanket?
How do you tune into the vibes of the
yarn?
WALTER
What the yarn wants to be?!
MANNY WALKS UP TO THE MIC.
MANNY
Llama gone.
WALTER
Manny? What’s going on?
MANNY
Llama gone. Llama gone.
DOLLY
Like be cool I’m sure he’ll turn up.
WALTER
Wait you lost the llama. Is that safe?
WALTER STARTS LOOKING AROUND THE ROOM NERVOUSLY. ALL OF A SUDDENLY THE LLAMA COMES RUNNING ON STAGE AND REEKS HAVOC. PARTS OF THE SET ARE FALLING AND WALTER GETS CLOBBERED.
WALTER (WHILE GETTING
ATTACKED) (CONT'D)
I hope you had a great time exploring
the world of yarn fandom with me.
Maybe you should get out of here while
we try to control the llama. Dolly!
Help!
INT. - HOTEL ROOM VLOG - NIGHT
WALTER IS BACK IN HIS HOTEL ROOM FINISHING OUT THE VLOG LOOKING A LITTLE BATTERED AND BRUISED FROM THE LLAMA ATTACK.
WALTER
If you thought yarn was for grandmas,
think again. This yarn fandom is wild,
literally.
I had a wonderful time meeting
everyone and learning about this
fandom. But now I’m going to take off
this sweater, it’s actually pretty
itchy.
WALTER TRIES TO TAKE OFF THE SWEATER BUT STRUGGLES AND FALLS OVER.
WALTER (CONT'D)
Actually it might not be so bad. Tune
in next week when we learn about a new
fandom on Walter’s Biggest Fan Show.
WALTER’S BIGGEST FAN SHOW THEME SONG PLAYS AS WE SEE WALTER CONTINUE TO STRUGGLE WITH THE SWEATER.
WALTER (CONT'D)
(muffled under the sweater) This is
the real sweater curse. Harold didn’t
tell me about this. Shessh.
THE END